silence and social

i'm finally feeling like myself again. i got back home to barbados on sunday at around 5 PM and went immediately out for dinner and then to bed, up the next morning at 6 AM and worked the week through. i desparately needed time to MYSELF, to the detriment of my social life with wok friends here, unfortunately. i wish i could explain to everyone just HOW necessary it is for me to have this kind of time- i know that there are a lot of people out there who dont need it and i try to be cognizant of that and go along with it- ESPECIALLY when i know it's how some people feel cared for (see also kathy rockel and her "love languages"!). but i wish i could truly get across that i am absolutely NO good unless i de-stimulate. i get over stimulated with too much going on- i need absolute silence and my own company, just to THINK. it's difficult when i actually LIKE hanging with people and being social, but i've finally learned about my adult self how to balance these things out. the scale, for me, is tipped in favor of quiet and alone time, interspersed with those social times when i'm "ON"- i can carry a party for a night, but it's tiring and requires about a week of quiet after.

i'm home guys, and thankful for it. have cleaned, unpacked, floated, and am going to spend my day working tomorrow, which sounds FANTASTIC. i have enough to eat and some moments to look foward to in the near future (see also friends getting stuff i brought back for them, oistins for my birthday with the girls, john gordon in barbados and marcia smiling like a goon).

life is good. i'm back in my right mind and am happy to be here!